i think god was watching mtv one day when he realized he had to do something about that john mayer fellow. this is that asshole that just HAD to make the song "your body is a wonderland" exist. who goes out of his way to explain how he is a serious artist doing serious artist things like dating jennifer aniston, getting a bunch of shitty japanese fish tattoos, and making a (entirely faked) guitar face that is so fucking disgusting that it can't be described in the words. it actually makes your insides feel funny.
this guy tries to claim he's a legit guitarist, does hendrix and SRV covers, works with clapton (who is currently a lame, irrelevant iphone-shilling, old millionaire) and buddy guy and blah blah blah, then backtracks on his shitty music by putting together a SERIOUS guitar trio - that is shitty - really, really shitty.
the universe decided it had had enough and mayer ruined his career with a terrible playboy interview, in which he proved himself to be a sheltered simpleton frat-boy, asking "what is being black?" and then going on to drop this gem: "not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s." WHOA.
he just dug the hole deeper as the interview went on: by saying "nigger", talking about how he has a hood pass because he worked with one black guy once or something, making a white supremacist reference when describing his...ugh...his dick ("my dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock.") , and calling jessica simpson "SEXUAL NAPALM". the guy also admitted that him and jennifer aniston broke up because he was addicted to twitter. holy fuck.
the press jumped all over him and the entire world has joined together to say "FUCK JOHN MAYER". i turned on the news and there was a CNN panel discussing what a turd he is. yes!!!!
today, to appease the gods, john mayer cmade this official statement:
"I quit the media game. I'm out. I'm done,"
COULD THIS BE TRUE? PROOF OF DIVINE INTERVENTION??!?!
"It seems that John Mayer fans are set to feel devastated by recent reports claiming that the rocker is planing to retire soon. According to the news, John could be ending his career in the music scene after he finishes his current tour.
That news surfaced after the rock singer himself stated in an interview with USA Today, stating that he might not be releasing anymore albums."
THANK YOU KITTEN JESUS!!!!! MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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