sunburns

i think i am too touchy. i know i am too touchy. touch touch touch. i am in most ways still some underdeveloped mass of insecurities, kind of like a child, but not as charming. i read things and assume they are about me if they are negative. i guess this means i think that the world revolves around me. i don't know why i'm listing all my most horrible flaws in this thing, but it's sort of cathartic to admit you're a quivering blob of teary eyed phone calls once in a while.

i've been trying to write about drugs, about being left behind, about cats and unicorns and tricycles. but nothing is coming out properly. it feels so contrived when i attempt to spill out anything but the most trivial of BLOG entries.

i need something for my brain. i need to get things off my chest that are so tightly glued there that ripping things out of my ME is impossible right now. i feel like my insides are just boiling themselves sore. i feel weighed down, physically. i don't know if it's an outward thing that really is an inward thing that really should be simple to work out ETC ETC ETC. but i can't. wah wah wah. i can't. boo hoo. i feel heavy and i need to shit out some masterpiece so that i can feel normal in my own clothes, not feel so sweaty and sticky and like there are lumps of hot sugar in my guts.